When training the Dangerous Child, it is important to addiction-proof him at an early age. Children are being exposed to potentially addictive substances while still quite young, by their peers and by older children and adults. If the child already has strong feelings against addictions and dependency, he will be better prepared for those inevitable confrontations that will occur.
Simply put, while the child is still an infant, parents must understand how natural hungers turn into perceived needs, which are then converted into drives that propel behavior.
First, some definitions:
Notice the considerable overlap in the definitions above. We are born with the ability to feel hunger (and other depletion states) long before we understand what the feeling means. But as we grow older and join social groups, we learn to expand our list of hungers and needs. If this expansion occurs on the subconscious level only — without any conscious insight into our internal feelings — we will be extremely vulnerable to outside pressures to accept the viewpoint of need that comes with our immediate social environment.
Need vs. Drive
Difference BetweenNeed
We need to do something that is necessary. We also have needs that are physiological, social, and emotional. There are needs that are pressing and urgent, but there are also needs that are not immediate but also intermediate such as the need for a safe environment, need for recreation, need for insurance etc. There are also other so called needs that are not even needs per se but rather our wants such as a big house, a big car, and vacations in exotic locations abroad, and so on. It is these wants that make us work hard all our life to be able to satisfy these needs. We are motivated to keep working to achieve these goals that we set for ourselves in life.
Drive
Drive is a state of mind that gets arisen from a need. When we are hungry, we are motivated or driven to act in ways that will help us in satisfaction of hunger. However, hunger is a primary drive. It is a state of imbalance that activates an organism to work in ways so as to achieve balance. If we think according to this theory and conceive of a situation when the primary drives of hunger, thirst, and sleep are satisfied, there is no drive for the organism until that achieves some imbalance. This theory called drive reduction was developed by Clark Hull and explained the motivation through drive reduction..
According to Clark Hull, human beings work to reduce the state of tension. Once a behavior is successful in reduction of drive, the likelihood of repetition of that behavior in future increases…
There are both biological drives such as hunger, thirst, sex etc. that dictate our behavior that takes us closer to the satisfaction of these drives and secondary or unlearned drives such as fear and curiosity that make us behave accordingly. In fact, curiosity is one drive that keeps human beings search, explore and learn new things in life.
It should be mentioned that Clark Hull’s theory of drive reduction is still important for many types of drive. Thrill sports such as skydiving and scuba diving in tight caves where you cannot turn around, represent special cases, and have little to do with normal everyday drive theory.
Most of this takes place below the level of consciousness. That works out fine for ordinary children as long as they are provided with good levels of love and guidance along the way. But for Dangerous Children, life is “speeded up” in many ways. Any child who is provided the knowledge and abilities of a Dangerous Child, must also be given the resilience and strength to resist injurious social pressures.
That means rehearsal games, beginning fairly early. Children can sense an enormous amount of meaning in social interaction, long before they can express themselves in words. As the child grows, he will become more sophisticated in detecting underlying motivations of people around him. Play rehearsal games can accelerate and augment this understanding significantly.
Many of these games will elicit temporary apprehension and fright. As long as these are kept within the bounds appropriate for the particular child(ren) involved, the recruitment of the child’s amygdala in the training can be effective and non-harmful. Children love to be frightened — within bounds and for brief periods of time, with ample time for recovery and explanation, if needed.
As the Dangerous Child grows older, he will provide all the frightening experiences he needs for himself — and more than you need as a parent.
Simply put, while the child is still an infant, parents must understand how natural hungers turn into perceived needs, which are then converted into drives that propel behavior.
It is a misconception to believe that a Dangerous Child should be isolated from his peers until he is at least 16 or 18. But the Dangerous Child should be prepared to interact with outsiders and outsider peers from a very young age. The common language of all children (and most humans of any age) is play. The Dangerous Child must be prepared to deal with situations where play goes wrong. But if he is given an early beginning in his training, that should not be a problem.
Experience is the Best Teacher
Adults are often impressed by children who exhibit large quantities of factual knowledge and advanced vocabulary well beyond their years. But what truly impresses the most accomplished adults is the child who displays skillful use of knowledge, language, AND physical abilities. I have never seen a 3 year old who is capable of skillfully operating a large construction crane for building a high rise. But if I had, I would have been very impressed.
All jokes aside, it is skills that are taught by experience — often complex and intricate experience — that impresses adults who are on admission committees of good schools or who hire new employees for difficult work. Hazardous experiences must first be simulated, as best as possible. Observation, simulation, basic skills learning under supervision, graduating to more and more potentially hazardous skills, step by step as expertise is demonstrated at each level.
Dangerous Children learn to teach themselves didactic material from the age of 8 or 10. They learn to teach themselves practical beginning by the age of 12. And they will have learned at least three ways to support themselves financially by the age of 18. After that, they can put themselves through further schooling as they wish.
Advanced Societies are Losing Too Many People to Addictions
Drug addiction is a highly personal matter. If the person is resistant to the idea of passive dependency on any substance, he is less likely to surrender to an addiction. There are no drug laws or drug enforcement agencies that can keep a person from being addicted, if he is so inclined.
The high numbers of addicts and drug overdose deaths in every country suggests that these societies are losing human infrastructure that they cannot afford to lose.
The answer is almost always to improve the human infrastructure in every way possible. Making young minds stronger, more self-reliant, and more resistant to the outside pressures that try to make them weaker and more dependent.
Not every child can be a Dangerous Child. But in a rational society, most children would be encouraged to acquire strength and fortification against injurious outside social pressure. Instead, most cultural institutions seem to be at work tearing down the personal strengths of children and making them more vulnerable to indoctrination and groupthink pressures.
That is one more reason why training such as Dangerous Child training is so important at this time.
More on the North American drug problem:
The Dangerous Child 